I graduated from college on May 8th 2010! It was crazy! But I am done for now.
I'll be blogging more often. =)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
College
I graduated from college on May 8th 2010! It was crazy! But I am done for now.
I'll be blogging more often. =)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
One more try
I'm listening to John Legend, nodding my head and doing homework. "I don't care what the people say, they're probably lonely anyway" <---- Lyrics from Everybody Knows - John Legend.
This year I made it a point to resolve issues and drama I've had with people in the past. I've made it a point to drop the petty bullshit that I entertained before 2010. I'm actually back in communication with a lot of people that I've argued with or was angry with for some forgotten reason. I have apologized to some people I have wronged, some have accepted my apologies and we are back on speaking terms and some haven't. Regardless, I feel so much better about myself, about my life because of those small steps I made. I may never become rich, I may never be more than I am RIGHT now but I have accomplished a lot with relationships(friends,family) that a lot of people will never have the chance to do.
In the end, it won't matter what career you had, how much money you spent, or what you looked like. On your dying bed you will want loved ones, friends, family... I think I have plenty of them =)
This year I made it a point to resolve issues and drama I've had with people in the past. I've made it a point to drop the petty bullshit that I entertained before 2010. I'm actually back in communication with a lot of people that I've argued with or was angry with for some forgotten reason. I have apologized to some people I have wronged, some have accepted my apologies and we are back on speaking terms and some haven't. Regardless, I feel so much better about myself, about my life because of those small steps I made. I may never become rich, I may never be more than I am RIGHT now but I have accomplished a lot with relationships(friends,family) that a lot of people will never have the chance to do.
In the end, it won't matter what career you had, how much money you spent, or what you looked like. On your dying bed you will want loved ones, friends, family... I think I have plenty of them =)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Nights like this
You realize that you can't always be positive. Tonight,I'm sad and mildly depressed. I miss my husband. I miss everything about him. I talked to him tonight and as he rambled on I just kept drifting off because frankly I am tired of talking on the phone, emailing and writing in a journal..I want his hugs, his touch. I want to be near him. It doesn't hurt me to admit it. So I'm admitting it.
A lot of things have been going on lately in my life. My sister and I want to open a restaurant but of course the Navy situation is really hindering what we can do. I don't want to be away from Chris more than I already am but I also don't want to put my career on hold. I have never been THIS hindered ever. I went to college the summer after I graduated high school. I worked almost 12 hours a day Monday through Saturday as a nanny to pay for college my freshman and sophomore year. During those days I was tired but I felt SO self sufficient and in control of my life. Now, Im basically done with college but I have lost my focus, my grind, my hustle. I'm just exhausted....And I needed to write that down.......... I've been reading some Anais Nin quotes for encouragement...I will end this blog with a few of my favorites
If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin
I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin
A lot of things have been going on lately in my life. My sister and I want to open a restaurant but of course the Navy situation is really hindering what we can do. I don't want to be away from Chris more than I already am but I also don't want to put my career on hold. I have never been THIS hindered ever. I went to college the summer after I graduated high school. I worked almost 12 hours a day Monday through Saturday as a nanny to pay for college my freshman and sophomore year. During those days I was tired but I felt SO self sufficient and in control of my life. Now, Im basically done with college but I have lost my focus, my grind, my hustle. I'm just exhausted....And I needed to write that down.......... I've been reading some Anais Nin quotes for encouragement...I will end this blog with a few of my favorites
If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin
I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin
Monday, February 8, 2010
Pow!
I don't know why I used that title.. Today, I went to the gym..this time I met with a trainer and he kicked my whole ass. It was tiring, frustrating, funny, and kind of liberating. Although, I felt like all the workouts I have been doing prior to this were inadequate.
*sigh*
Anyway, I wanted to blog about marriage. Mainly, marriage in the military. My husband and I met (AGAIN lol)in 2007. We started dating in May of 07 and he proposed in Feb. 08 and we got married August 8,2008. Then a few months after we were married he decided to join the Navy. I was DEAD SET against it. My dad was a marine, we moved a lot. I went to a different school every year until I was in middle school. I hated it. I didn't want to be dragged any and everywhere, be away from my family, my friends, my college, and my ties. I was "comfortable". Somehow, Chris talked me into it. He aced the ASVAB, lost weight, worked his ass off, got the rate and bonus he wanted and then it was time for him to leave for bootcamp.
He got done with bootcamp. I remember the feeling I had when they marched in for graduation. I almost cried thinking about how much work he did to get to this point. I thought about how many letters we wrote, the boot camp drama he went through, the distance, the strain on a brand new marriage and how we persevered. I thought about how many people didn't make it through bootcamp. I was just so proud.
Then, he went to A school. It was in Pensacola,FL. After 3 weeks, we couldn't take it anymore and I moved down there.. 5 minutes from base. We saw each other every weekday except duty day. We spent 4 hours together everyday and then I had to drop him off on base. I would help him study for class he would force me to write papers lol.
He graduated A school and became an air traffic controller. Now, we are in VA Beach and he's deployed. This is typical for a military marriage. Distance, deployments, short spurts of time together, emails, letter writing etc... It is hard for the person left at "home". I don't sit at home weeping every day. I'm working hard towards my own educational and career goals. But, it is hard being so far from who you love and all you know. Its not all bad, you go new places, experience fun and exciting things other people may never experience..you meet GREAT friends who are in your same shoes.....
As far as my marriage goes...
People who have never been married or in a long term committed relationship don't understand the connection you have with someone you love enough to pledge your life too. It sounds overrated but he is seriously my other half. He completes my sentences, I laugh at his corny jokes b/c to me they are actually funny..sometimes I catch him staring at me and we both smile...I just can't put it into words without sounding like a Hallmark card. I never thought I'd be married at 22. I have had alot of bad feelings towards relationships and marriages. I've never been the type of woman to trust a man fully..I have had bad examples of marriage...I never knew it could be like this...thousands of miles away, communication at a minimum and you know that your spouse is thinking about you, wanting you there, missing you.
Yes, the military has a high divorce rate. However, it doesn't mean my marriage is doomed for failure. It won't stop me from loving husband and what we have. And if one day this does end..I will never regret all the love, laughter, and joy we experience together. Never. So yes, I'm married to a military man and I love him..to pieces. Judge me all you want at the end of the day it amounts to nothing.
*sigh*
Anyway, I wanted to blog about marriage. Mainly, marriage in the military. My husband and I met (AGAIN lol)in 2007. We started dating in May of 07 and he proposed in Feb. 08 and we got married August 8,2008. Then a few months after we were married he decided to join the Navy. I was DEAD SET against it. My dad was a marine, we moved a lot. I went to a different school every year until I was in middle school. I hated it. I didn't want to be dragged any and everywhere, be away from my family, my friends, my college, and my ties. I was "comfortable". Somehow, Chris talked me into it. He aced the ASVAB, lost weight, worked his ass off, got the rate and bonus he wanted and then it was time for him to leave for bootcamp.
He got done with bootcamp. I remember the feeling I had when they marched in for graduation. I almost cried thinking about how much work he did to get to this point. I thought about how many letters we wrote, the boot camp drama he went through, the distance, the strain on a brand new marriage and how we persevered. I thought about how many people didn't make it through bootcamp. I was just so proud.
Then, he went to A school. It was in Pensacola,FL. After 3 weeks, we couldn't take it anymore and I moved down there.. 5 minutes from base. We saw each other every weekday except duty day. We spent 4 hours together everyday and then I had to drop him off on base. I would help him study for class he would force me to write papers lol.
He graduated A school and became an air traffic controller. Now, we are in VA Beach and he's deployed. This is typical for a military marriage. Distance, deployments, short spurts of time together, emails, letter writing etc... It is hard for the person left at "home". I don't sit at home weeping every day. I'm working hard towards my own educational and career goals. But, it is hard being so far from who you love and all you know. Its not all bad, you go new places, experience fun and exciting things other people may never experience..you meet GREAT friends who are in your same shoes.....
As far as my marriage goes...
People who have never been married or in a long term committed relationship don't understand the connection you have with someone you love enough to pledge your life too. It sounds overrated but he is seriously my other half. He completes my sentences, I laugh at his corny jokes b/c to me they are actually funny..sometimes I catch him staring at me and we both smile...I just can't put it into words without sounding like a Hallmark card. I never thought I'd be married at 22. I have had alot of bad feelings towards relationships and marriages. I've never been the type of woman to trust a man fully..I have had bad examples of marriage...I never knew it could be like this...thousands of miles away, communication at a minimum and you know that your spouse is thinking about you, wanting you there, missing you.
Yes, the military has a high divorce rate. However, it doesn't mean my marriage is doomed for failure. It won't stop me from loving husband and what we have. And if one day this does end..I will never regret all the love, laughter, and joy we experience together. Never. So yes, I'm married to a military man and I love him..to pieces. Judge me all you want at the end of the day it amounts to nothing.
Monday, January 25, 2010
And its raining.....
I woke up this morning to a loud whistle. lol..My patio door is acting wonky. The wind is blowing extremely hard and its pouring but I went outside to walk the dog. She ran on the side of the sidewalk splashing in puddles. I couldn't help but laugh. I love my pup. She is the sweetest being in my life. I needed to give Dora her props today. She brightens every moment. She's always my best friend and cuddles up next to me when I'm sad. Animals are so gentle and loving and deserve the same type of undying love.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
This day
Today has been trying, hectic and tiring. The Haiti disaster is affecting my life in more than one way right now. For reasons I am not at liberty to say. I'm just sad right now. I just felt like typing a few words.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Its been a minute
My husbands home..silly as ever lol. I've been pre occupied with getting this house together, bills, school, and just life. We've had a hectic couple of weeks. I'm just ready to be settled. School starts on the 14th and I am kind of excited about it. I'm taking a couple masters classes for Psych and while I'm nervous I'm excited to see if this is really what I want to do forever..
On another note
2010 has been okay for me so far. I know we are only 11 days in but I am learning so much about some people I call "friend". I really think all people are inherently selfish. It has to be something in them to be total assholes sometimes. I can't fault people for that because sometimes I can be that way too but I don't have the time or patience to deal with everyones "moods". I just don't. I have been valuing this time I have with my husband. He'll be gone again soon. :/ It sucks but what can you do but keep it moving?
I have a job interview this week and I'm pretty geeked about it lol. Hopefully it goes well.
All in all.. Life goes on. So I'm excited to see where its going.
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