Craziest weekend..ever

The people who are on my FB list know all of this but I wanted to share it with everyone

Saturday-DH and I went to a wedding and reception it was a day time deal..we drank at the reception, a few mimosas and champagne and came home. Later in the day we decided to go see Inception and go to dinner. DH was saying his stomach felt weird but he still wanted to go out. So we ended up going to to TGI Fridays..he picked over his food *which was lackluster at best* and he just looked a little sick. I told him we could go home so he could lay down but he said he didn't feel TOO bad. We went to go see Inception *AWESOME movie* and came home. Got in the bed, went to sleep.

Sunday- 4:30 am DH woke me up and he was in a lot of pain in his stomach, we thought it was a stomach virus, gas, or food poisoning. DH thought it was constipation so he took a laxative before he woke me up..It didn't help. I made him some tea *something his mom did when he was constipated when he was little that helped him*, I warmed a heating pad and put it on his belly and then his lower back and rubbed his stomach. Eventually he fell asleep

Suunday-9am DH wakes me up and tells me he threw up when he went outside to walk the dog. I'm more concerned now. I call my mom who is an RN and asked does she think we need to go in. She asked did he have a temp, chills, how many times he threw up etc.. She told me to monitor him, give him clear liquids and a really light diet all day and see how he does. DH was NOT having it about going to the ER.

1:00pm He had thrown up 5-6 times and was in extreme pain. He was trying to hide it by staying in our bedroom while I was baking some things in the kitchen. I come in and see he is in a cold sweat, he looks weak and shaky. I was scared out of my mind, he is rarely sick and I've never had to deal with this type of situation without my mom being there :lol I went into freak out mode and helped him get dressed, dressed myself and drove like a crazy person to the ER :lol

We get into the ER and he can barely walk or talk he's in that much pain. He couldn't even keep a grip on my hand...We still were thinking maybe BAD food poisoning. Come to find out...he had appendicitis. :straightface The nurse KNEW it as soon as she talked to me and felt his stomach. However, she had to wait for a surgeon resident and the surgeon to come down and agree with her...They did a CT Scan and decided he needed to be rushed into surgery.
They told me it was a 1 hr procedure, it took 2 hours. I was going crazy in the waiting room. FINALLY the surgeon comes out and says it was really infected, if we would've waited a few hours later he thinks it would've burst etc.. The other surgeon comes in and tells me the same and said DH would be hospitalized for 2-3 days so he could be on antibiotics b/c the infection was so bad.

He got discharged this after noon and he's currently laying on the couch sleep doped up on meds.. I am so grateful that he is ok. So happy that we decided to go to the emergency room. The doctors were all so serious about how bad it would've been if we would have waited another day. Its scary to think that he might be dead or in serious medical trouble right now. One minute we were having fun and the next he was in surgery. I'm not trying to sound dramatic but this whole ordeal really made me feel like an adult. Lol I'm 23, married, experienced some things, we live on our own, but none of that prepped me for how SCARED and helpless I was feeling waiting for him to come out of surgery..

End of my dramatic story..thanks to everyone who posted on my FB and messaged me and called! We appreciate it and Love yall!

College

I graduated from college on May 8th 2010! It was crazy! But I am done for now.

I'll be blogging more often. =)

One more try

I'm listening to John Legend, nodding my head and doing homework. "I don't care what the people say, they're probably lonely anyway" <---- Lyrics from Everybody Knows - John Legend.

This year I made it a point to resolve issues and drama I've had with people in the past. I've made it a point to drop the petty bullshit that I entertained before 2010. I'm actually back in communication with a lot of people that I've argued with or was angry with for some forgotten reason. I have apologized to some people I have wronged, some have accepted my apologies and we are back on speaking terms and some haven't. Regardless, I feel so much better about myself, about my life because of those small steps I made. I may never become rich, I may never be more than I am RIGHT now but I have accomplished a lot with relationships(friends,family) that a lot of people will never have the chance to do.

In the end, it won't matter what career you had, how much money you spent, or what you looked like. On your dying bed you will want loved ones, friends, family... I think I have plenty of them =)

Nights like this

You realize that you can't always be positive. Tonight,I'm sad and mildly depressed. I miss my husband. I miss everything about him. I talked to him tonight and as he rambled on I just kept drifting off because frankly I am tired of talking on the phone, emailing and writing in a journal..I want his hugs, his touch. I want to be near him. It doesn't hurt me to admit it. So I'm admitting it.

A lot of things have been going on lately in my life. My sister and I want to open a restaurant but of course the Navy situation is really hindering what we can do. I don't want to be away from Chris more than I already am but I also don't want to put my career on hold. I have never been THIS hindered ever. I went to college the summer after I graduated high school. I worked almost 12 hours a day Monday through Saturday as a nanny to pay for college my freshman and sophomore year. During those days I was tired but I felt SO self sufficient and in control of my life. Now, Im basically done with college but I have lost my focus, my grind, my hustle. I'm just exhausted....And I needed to write that down.......... I've been reading some Anais Nin quotes for encouragement...I will end this blog with a few of my favorites

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin


I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin

Pow!

I don't know why I used that title.. Today, I went to the gym..this time I met with a trainer and he kicked my whole ass. It was tiring, frustrating, funny, and kind of liberating. Although, I felt like all the workouts I have been doing prior to this were inadequate.
*sigh*

Anyway, I wanted to blog about marriage. Mainly, marriage in the military. My husband and I met (AGAIN lol)in 2007. We started dating in May of 07 and he proposed in Feb. 08 and we got married August 8,2008. Then a few months after we were married he decided to join the Navy. I was DEAD SET against it. My dad was a marine, we moved a lot. I went to a different school every year until I was in middle school. I hated it. I didn't want to be dragged any and everywhere, be away from my family, my friends, my college, and my ties. I was "comfortable". Somehow, Chris talked me into it. He aced the ASVAB, lost weight, worked his ass off, got the rate and bonus he wanted and then it was time for him to leave for bootcamp.

He got done with bootcamp. I remember the feeling I had when they marched in for graduation. I almost cried thinking about how much work he did to get to this point. I thought about how many letters we wrote, the boot camp drama he went through, the distance, the strain on a brand new marriage and how we persevered. I thought about how many people didn't make it through bootcamp. I was just so proud.

Then, he went to A school. It was in Pensacola,FL. After 3 weeks, we couldn't take it anymore and I moved down there.. 5 minutes from base. We saw each other every weekday except duty day. We spent 4 hours together everyday and then I had to drop him off on base. I would help him study for class he would force me to write papers lol.

He graduated A school and became an air traffic controller. Now, we are in VA Beach and he's deployed. This is typical for a military marriage. Distance, deployments, short spurts of time together, emails, letter writing etc... It is hard for the person left at "home". I don't sit at home weeping every day. I'm working hard towards my own educational and career goals. But, it is hard being so far from who you love and all you know. Its not all bad, you go new places, experience fun and exciting things other people may never experience..you meet GREAT friends who are in your same shoes.....

As far as my marriage goes...
People who have never been married or in a long term committed relationship don't understand the connection you have with someone you love enough to pledge your life too. It sounds overrated but he is seriously my other half. He completes my sentences, I laugh at his corny jokes b/c to me they are actually funny..sometimes I catch him staring at me and we both smile...I just can't put it into words without sounding like a Hallmark card. I never thought I'd be married at 22. I have had alot of bad feelings towards relationships and marriages. I've never been the type of woman to trust a man fully..I have had bad examples of marriage...I never knew it could be like this...thousands of miles away, communication at a minimum and you know that your spouse is thinking about you, wanting you there, missing you.

Yes, the military has a high divorce rate. However, it doesn't mean my marriage is doomed for failure. It won't stop me from loving husband and what we have. And if one day this does end..I will never regret all the love, laughter, and joy we experience together. Never. So yes, I'm married to a military man and I love him..to pieces. Judge me all you want at the end of the day it amounts to nothing.

And its raining.....

I woke up this morning to a loud whistle. lol..My patio door is acting wonky. The wind is blowing extremely hard and its pouring but I went outside to walk the dog. She ran on the side of the sidewalk splashing in puddles. I couldn't help but laugh. I love my pup. She is the sweetest being in my life. I needed to give Dora her props today. She brightens every moment. She's always my best friend and cuddles up next to me when I'm sad. Animals are so gentle and loving and deserve the same type of undying love.

This day

Today has been trying, hectic and tiring. The Haiti disaster is affecting my life in more than one way right now. For reasons I am not at liberty to say. I'm just sad right now. I just felt like typing a few words.

Its been a minute

My husbands home..silly as ever lol. I've been pre occupied with getting this house together, bills, school, and just life. We've had a hectic couple of weeks. I'm just ready to be settled. School starts on the 14th and I am kind of excited about it. I'm taking a couple masters classes for Psych and while I'm nervous I'm excited to see if this is really what I want to do forever..

On another note

2010 has been okay for me so far. I know we are only 11 days in but I am learning so much about some people I call "friend". I really think all people are inherently selfish. It has to be something in them to be total assholes sometimes. I can't fault people for that because sometimes I can be that way too but I don't have the time or patience to deal with everyones "moods". I just don't. I have been valuing this time I have with my husband. He'll be gone again soon. :/ It sucks but what can you do but keep it moving?

I have a job interview this week and I'm pretty geeked about it lol. Hopefully it goes well.

All in all.. Life goes on. So I'm excited to see where its going.

Deployed? Underway? ETC

A friend of mine was teasing me about my babes coming home so soon from his deployment. He met his ship after they had been out for 6 months so he was only gone for a month and a couple of weeks. This is a long ass time to be away from someone you love but not long in military time. We are very lucky how this situation turned out...BUT I think something that people in the Marines/Army etc don't get is that Navy Sailors go on things called Underways. THEY SUCK.....Comparing a 1 yr deployment for an army soldier..someone in the Navy will be home for a week or so and gone for 2 to 3 weeks, come back a week and gone again for 2 to 3 weeks...There is never any consistency with this situation. I can plan NOTHING. People may not think thats as bad as them being gone a year but sometimes I'd rather that, I'd rather him be gone on a yr deployment then to be gone 3 weeks out of each month for a 2 yr sea duty term. Its stressful.

I am ready for some down time. I'd love to spend time with my husband. He would probably love to spend time with me also...I'm praying we will have an underway free december. :)

Family? Friends?

This morning I woke up thinking about my large extended family. All families have their issues..right? Well mine are far and long reaching. I have my own personal demons concerning my immediate family that I'll have to address at a later date...This is about some of my extended family...Its a person in my family that will throw you under the bus for whatever, will lie on you, befriend your enemies etc...

BUT THEN this person always plays the victim. I wonder if this person really understands the things that they do. If they understand that you don't have to be a shitty person to be popular? Frankly,its sad that this person has to go to these extents to make friends..

I feel bad for people who can't stand on their own. You don't need someone to be your friend who can't accept for who you are. Which is why my circle of friends is so small. I just do NOT have the mental fortitude to put up with the drama I endured in highschool or the first couple years of college. I just don't have it in me to be worried about what some insignificant person thinks of me. Life is too precious, too short, too fragile to be petty.

Life is filled with thousands of beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Filled with so many places to travel to see..So many different people to enjoy, meet, learn about. Life has countless memories, joys, and tragedies. Life isn't what other people have done to you its what you do for yourself and who you surround yourself around.

In the process of writing this I've found a lot of clarity on a subject thats been bothering me. I'm trying to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life...Lawyer? Entrepreneur? Chef? Author? Psychiatrist? I'm stuck in the midst of all those decisions but I see that I can do and be so much more than my brain understands.

Time for a change.

"Im the kind of girl you wanna take to your momma's house"

lol..I'm watching Mall Cop and thats always my favorite part of the movie...Things have been hectic around here..In Virginia we've been experiencing something called a Nor'Easter..I know what is that?? I got a good description for it:

Nor'easters can occur in the eastern United States any time between October and April, when moisture and cold air are plentiful. They are known for dumping heavy amounts of rain and snow, producing hurricane-force winds, and creating high surfs that cause severe beach erosion and coastal flooding. A Nor'easter is named for the winds that blow in from the northeast and drive the storm up the east coast along the Gulf Stream, a band of warm water that lies off the Atlantic coast.

http://www.howstuffworks.com/question595.htm

Anyway its been hectic and flooding is everywhere. So I'm just getting my power back on and a chance to blog.

I am thinking about getting my business started up again. I love to plan events. I love the decoration and the anticipation leading up to the big day. Which is why I really love planning weddings. I've done a few so far and all of them have been really rewarding. I just don't know how to get everything started. I need to get back on my grind.

I miss my husband. We talked today but he sent me THE best email. It made my day. He always puts everything into perspective for me. I just can't wait to see him again and hug him. I'm planning our Christmas. He wants red, green and white this year and I have really came up with some contemporary edgy looking things.

In other news I've also been thinking about doing some writing. I used to do it a lot and so I've been thinking about what type of story I want to delve into. It doesn't matter if its just for my personal use. I just really want to get back into reading, writing and planning. Soooo tomorrow I'm going to make a concious effort to get some stuff done.. Thats all for tonight!

Midnight

Its midnight and I decided to start a blog. I've had a blog before and kept it for 2 years. When I went through and re read it I learned so much about myself. Its amazing the story you'll be able to tell yourself 3 years from now. I love the evolution of humans. Time changes everyone.

A bit about my life
-I'm married(8/8/08) he's in the Navy
-no babies(but I have extreme baby fever lol)
-last semester of college
-lost and don't know what I want to be when I grow up
-22
-talented in many fields but I don't know how to bring them together
- 2 yr old Dog, her names Dora, she's a lab mix
-I am a book addict
-Starbucks Caramel Macchiato always makes my day better
-My absolute favorite movie is A Beautiful Mind, hence the name of my blog lol

My husband said I should start a blog while he was gone.

About my marriage..
I am beyond blessed for the man my husband is. I have been through alot with men in my past. I've dated someone who really made me jaded about love. Its like I was rewarded with this man who understands all of me and loves all of me. The bad, the good, he just doesn't care. I wish I could put in words how much he does for me but I can't. I just love him. There isn't and will never be a man so completely made for me. My marriage is strong....its not a fairy tale. It is so real and I love that. We get emotional sometimes, sick of each other, angry but the happiness we have outweighs all of that. Sometimes we just look at each other and start laughing for no real reason other than "damn is this real?" It's real. I'm grasping for words to convey what this is but their aren't enough...so I'll leave it with I love him.

I love to write but I just...haven't for a long time. I have about a hundred unfinished stories on my computer.
Hopefully, this blog will help me along this deployement, help me learn more about myself, and be an outlet for me.

It's midnight and I have to get up in the morning and babysit my friends son, and take the dog to the groomer so...goodnight. =)